I’ve been reading through the gospels this month, and I find myself being shocked at how many times Jesus actually spells out his death and resurrection for them. He wasn’t talking about it obscurely or in a parable, but very plainly tells them the plan. I mean it is a shocking amount of times if you read all four gospels.
So, I’m like, “How did they miss that this was coming?” Because they were all shocked, not one of them said, “Oh yeah, Jesus mentioned this.” Not one of them remembered until after the fact.
The reason it didn’t compute was their expectation. When we expect an outcome, we sometimes hear what we want to hear. The disciples had an entirely different end in mind. They had been taught that Messiah would come and establish Israel and rebuild what had been broken, and He will, but not in the timeline they were envisioning. They imagined a much grander end to his life on earth, and their hearts weren’t ready for the reality.
I found myself quickly judging the disciples, and wondering how in the world they didn't hear these very clear details. What I often fail to see, is just what they failed to see. I put my own expectations on every prayer I pray. I subconsciously work things in my mind the way I think they should work out. I move the chess pieces of my daily life all day, contemplating my next move and not factoring in God's.
How are we putting our own expectation on Jesus?
Do we hear what Jesus is actually saying to us or what we want to hear?
When He says, “Trust me,” do we hear:
“with this cancer,
or for my emergency but not with the everyday,
not with my time, my money, my kids?”
When He says, “Speak truth,” do we hear:
“only if they will receive it,
only if it’s nice,
just to yourself and not anyone else?”
When He says, “Love them,” do we hear:
“the people inside the church walls,
the people who are safely think the same way we do,
the people who love us back?”
When He says, “Pray continually,” do we hear:
“when you’ve exhausted all other options,
as a last resort,
if you have the time?”
Jesus was constantly saying things to the disciples that they didn’t heed in the present moment. I know the same is true for me, but I desperately want to hear Him well now. I want to put my head on His chest and listen to what He is really saying to me and gain understanding. I want to glean from all the knowledge that He wants to share with me.
I don’t want to miss a word.
What is Jesus saying that I am not really hearing?
How am I only hearing what I want to hear?
Pray with me:
Father, help me hear your voice and not just my own. Pry my fingers off of my expectation and my bent for planning (aka controlling). Instead of expecting you to fix all my problems and take away all my pain, help me to see how you want to grow me in them. I don’t want to miss what you have for me, because I am window shopping lesser things.