Pour it Out

Trust isn't the absence of anxiety; anxiety is the opportunity to build trust muscles.

That means that all my anxiety is really an opportunity. I have so much trust potential it’s ridiculous. If every anxiety is an opportunity to trust God more, I’m a poster child for this. I have so many opportunities!

The thing is, it’s an opportunity that I sometimes don’t take.

In trust God, I really do – but also, I struggle with anxiety.

I’m a mom. All three of my kids have encountered things this week that were unexpected and crippling. I feel what they feel. Having kids multiplies my emotions.

When they are faced with hurt or fear, I am faced with hurt or fear. I can’t separate myself and I don’t think I am supposed to, even though lots of people have given me that advice. It’s my habit to take on all their anxiety, which is not good. I am not meant to carry all my own anxiety, much less carry theirs as well. It’s too much to hold. It has left me physically and emotionally exhausted this week.

I need trust to trickle down into all the moments, not just a blanket theological statement but a daily application. I am going to feel all the feels, but this promise is also true:

Trust in Him at all times, O people.

pour out your heart to Him;

God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:8

I can pour out everything in my heart to God and He will be a refuge for me. If I pour it out, I’m not holding it anymore. I can pour it from my cup to His. This verse says I can trust Him at all times.

Trust isn’t the absence of anxiety; it’s pouring it out in the right place. I can cast my cares on God, because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7) and all the things that concern me (Psalm 138:8). Just in case you've never had a conversation with me, there is a lot that concerns me.

Trusting God means that I believe that He will work out the things I’m giving Him, not that He will stamp an approval on what I think needs to happen. It means I believe that He will work it out in the best way possible, even if that doesn’t look like what I’m asking for.

That is why it’s hard. I’m not trusting that He will work out my outcome, I’m trusting that His outcome is the best one. I can sometimes have a hard time giving up my ideas.

Does this seem familiar?

If so, decide today with me that we are going to let trust trickle down into all our anxieties.

I am meditating on that verse above Psalm 62:8 every day this next week. I am writing it out in my journal each day and then pouring out all that’s in my heart to Him. I need the reminder at least every day that I can pour it out and not carry it. He is the safest place to pour my emotion. I can feel it and then leave it with Him. It’s not on my shoulders.

All this talk of pouring makes me want a cup of coffee. I’m going to keep that visual, and when I pour my coffee, which is at the very least two times a day, I’m going to think of all the things that I want to pour from my heart out to God’s.