Dancing or Crying??
The words “Kate left home” pop up on my life 360 App, but they have new meaning.
She got her license last week, and now she is driving herself to school. She is repeatedly leaving home without me; she doesn’t need me to drive her anywhere. Part of me wants to make time stop and take the keys, but the other part of me wants to embrace the newfound freedom of not being the taxi. Each time she leaves the driveway, I struggle with both mentalities. I never know who will win. I’m dancing or crying.
Let go...this is what God has been gently whispering over my heart these days.
Change is so good for me, so good for us, because I seem to never willingly let go. I’m white knuckling things that aren’t mine to control. That's sin nature, wanting to be the master of my own destiny, wanting to be in charge, wanting to know good from evil and decide for myself.
Letting go requires that I check my vision.
I need to see and acknowledge that God is in control.
No matter how hard I strive I cannot add one day to my life. It’s a better use of my time focusing on how much God loves me. Retraining my bent for control to become a bent on rehearsing the Truth. It will get me farther down a road that accomplishes something good instead of chasing my own thoughts in circles.
“For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools.” Romans 1:21-22
I don’t want to think futile thoughts, round and round getting nowhere. Trying desperately to to grasp control of something.
If we want peace to guard our hearts and minds, this verse offers a solution. Recognize and honor God for being God. Give thanks for all the things He controls in your life. Then when you start to feel the spinning and want to grab the wheel, do it again. This repeated act of recognition and thanksgiving shines light into the darkness of our hearts.
Jesus, you can take the wheel. Also, can you help me let go of it? Thanks.