I need God to help me learn to struggle the right way. I already know how to do it the wrong way. I mean, I've pretty much perfected the wrong way.
I've been praying this week that God would help me start really learning this. I say start because I know this is a lesson for the long-haul.
These are two things that God helped me see this week. Things I need to start practicing.
I first need to recognize where I am trying to call things into existence in my own strength. Only God creates something out of nothing. I need to rest in His ability to govern both my heart and the hearts of those I love. For example, I cannot make my children love God.
No matter how great a Mother I set out to be, it won't be enough. God calls their hearts. My part is to pray and believe that He is going to answer. I choose to rest my worry there. Don't get me wrong, I have a responsibility as their mother. I will not cease to point them to God until my last breath, but I will leave this earth, and they will be fine, because they are actually in God's hands not mine.
Next. I'm not playing, this one's hard.
If I want to experience God's power, I have to face my weakness.
In 2 Corinthians 2:19 Paul says that God's power is made perfect in my weakness. His power is perfect for our weakness because it's multitasking. It's working the strength we need while at the same time working humility in our hearts. It takes care of the need on two levels, external and internal.
Getting God's strength means I've got to admit and be in touch with my weakness.
That's where I need both the grace and the power. I need the grace to be able to stay in touch with my weakness. All those places that I know I have failed, I don't want to look at them. I don't want to see the places I am not enough. But His grace is what I need there. I need his forgiveness and unmerited favor to touch my weak places. I need to remember that He loves me even there, and He wants to infuse me with strength right where I need it. My weakness is safe for Him to see, He already knows.
So to sum up, receiving God's power for my day looks a lot like dependence and waiting.
Literally staying plugged in and resting , waiting, and receiving.