My Life in the Pages
Updated: Feb 22, 2019
My life fits in between the pages of my bible, almost literally. I have cataloged so many seasons in these pages. There are pages that will always be warped from dried tears, torn pages from children,even random crayon markings from said children. My bible has gotten as full as my life because I have lived so much life in it. I need more space to explore new seasons and record new promises. So, for Christmas Pete got me a journaling Bible. It ended up on back order and just appeared about 2 weeks ago. It was so exciting that I even did a little dance.
But now, I’m having a ridiculous dilemma. I’m feeling the need to hold my old Bible. Seriously, I've been found just holding it. The new one is soooo pretty, it’s the Bible I’ve been dreaming about. It has so much room for notes and doodles. But my Bible, the tear-stained, worn out one of the last 7 years, has my past. It’s literally documentation of my past seven years with God. It’s everything He has said to my heart and things I’ve cried out to His. It is perfectly worn on the edges and I can always find the verses I'm looking for because I remember things like, it's on the left page and highlighted in blue.
There is something about moving forward that makes us feel we are leaving something behind, like we need to immortalize the past. My relationship, my love story with God feels trapped between the pages of my current Bible. But the reality is, that love story goes with me into my new bible; it’s not something that can be taken from me. It travels with me into eternity. I always have this bent, I don't know if it's the writer in me, but I want to control the story. I want control of the plot changes and twists, but the reality of me writing my story would make for a really boring story. I am bent on safety and the known. What I really want ( or on most days what I want to want) is for my life to fit into the pages of the story God is writing, instead of trying to force my own story. His story is unpredictable but it’s the BEST script to prepare me for eternity.
Satan wants us to look back at our past and tell us things are gone, He wants to highlight our disappointments and emphasize our failures. To make us believe that we can’t go forward. This is where we get to do some of our own writing in the narrative God is giving us. We can choose to write God’s promises on the cover of our stories. We can exalt His word above every situation in our life and let it speak. We can let them literally cover every twist and turn in the plot of our lives, and His words will shape the outcomes of our circumstances. We can choose to see our entire narrative through the perspective of God’s promises. "Only take care and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life" (Deuteronomy 4:9). The things I need aren't just in the pages of my Bible. As I have read and meditated on the truth, God has written them on my heart, so that I can diligently keep my soul in remembrance of the things my eyes have seen, and turn the past into a remembrance of God.
If you don’t feel this way about your Bible, I’m so sorry. You are missing all the things God longs to show you and all the ways He wants to connect the dots in your life to the words on His page. His words literally breathe life.
“It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all.
The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.”
John 6:63 (Italics mine)
They aren’t just words, they are spirit and life. They are everything. There are verses I have read 100 times and they still jump off the page at me, brand new fitting into my day exactly where I need them. These are words filled with spirit and life. The Holy Spirit interprets that Bible into my story, into my application, tailored to my life in between those pages - my obedience to commands - my promises from God fulfilled. God sends us the Holy Spirit to individualize our personal walk with God through His word.
If you don’t know where to start with your Bible, start in John and read what Jesus says and hear not just His love for you but His power for your life. Read His story that flows off the page into your story. Read how in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1). The Word is God giving us himself in our story. Ask God for more of himself and dig into His word, and watch how He runs right off the page into your heart and life.