Taking Myself Off the Hook
Can I tell you something? I struggle hard with failure.
I’m sharing this story because maybe you need to hear this as much as I do.
Last week I had a Mom fail moment. I beat myself up about it all day. I was headed to a pumpkin carving school event with Caleb, my first grader. He has the same fantastic teacher that my other two children got the joy of having. She is fabulous. I am a veteran at this event where we carve and measure pumpkins, counting seeds and weighing the goop. For my third child though, I managed to miss the event completely, I wrote down the wrong time in my calendar. Yes, don’t judge me, I still run my life from a paper calendar. I also read real books with pages. This isn’t going to change so we’ll just move past it. Here you should insert serious crying and guilt trips and you have my afternoon.
Caleb was quick to forgive me and delighted that I came and ate lunch with him. It’s funny how being forgiven doesn’t always help us forgive ourselves.
We read John 3:16 and stop right there at salvation and miss the next verse that tells us that God didn’t send Jesus into the world to condemn the world but to save us, and then verse 18, “Whoever believes in Him is not condemned…” I don’t know about you, but I am pretty good at condemning myself. Satan can get me on that bandwagon in a heartbeat. It’s not that I believe Jesus is condemning me, it’s that I forget.I get confused and start thinking that my good should outweigh my bad, but it won't, only Jesus outweighs my sin. I don't need to strive to tip the scales, Jesus love outweighs everything.
When I don't meet my expectations, I forget how free His love is. I find myself often helping Satan put me back on the hook when Jesus has already taken me down.
I will continue to fail my family, because I am human. But there is freedom in realizing that God isn’t and He won’t fail them…ever. God doesn’t miss a detail, not one, and that also means that God gave your children to YOU on purpose. You are the sum total of what they need in a parent. Your family is tailored by God to your specific strengths. It’s also tailored to your weaknesses by design so that your children can see God’s strength. They need all the facets God designed in you.
They need to see you fail because they will.
They need to hear you ask for forgiveness, or they won’t know humility.
They need to see that you accept forgiveness, so that they will live a life of freedom.
God will use everything we give Him, strengths and weaknesses to multiply their impact for His glory. Our weaknesses will be the place that they see God’s greatest strengths. In my weakness I am promised grace and to see God’s power work in me. That makes my weakness a gift. The gift of vision.
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT
The ESV translation says, “so that the power of Christ may rest upon me”. I want the power of Christ to rest upon me and my weakness to give Him the most space to be seen and glorified. Sometimes my strengths confuse me into thinking things depend on me, but my weaknesses never do.